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First Date Ideas For The Anxious Soul

June 26, 2018 No Comments

First Date Ideas For The Anxious Soul

June 26, 2018 No Comments


So, you’re about to go on your first date with someone new: congrats! Or, maybe you’ve been out with this person already, but you still need some date ideas that aren’t going to send your anxiety skyrocketing to outer space. Whatever the case, I’ve compiled a list of date ideas that will encompass fun, safety, and low-anxiety.

How To Implement:
You can maneuver a date to your liking by simply stating your opinion and asking for what you want. If your date is pushy and is like, “But I really wanna take you ice skating!”, then either drop him like a bad habit, or, if you really think there’s potential there, you can say something like, “Let’s ice skate on our second date!”. That gives them hope and you can keep your anxiety at bay a little longer. Here are some conversation scenarios you can use to help you make this happen:

“Hey, would you like to go out sometime?”

“Sure! Have you been to that little coffee place over on …..”
“Sure! Wanna go see a movie Saturday afternoon? I think ‘Dawn Of The Grapes’ is showing”.
“Sure! Would you like to meet up at the _______?”

If you use these answers and your potential date doesn’t go for it or sees you as too pushy, then wait for the person who will be excited to hang out with you, no matter what kind of date you’re on. It’s okay if your first date is at a coffee shop. There can always be a second date! Being with the right person is all about them understanding you, and you them. You’re not doing anything wrong by choosing a date that better suits your anxiety. And you don’t need to tell them you have anxiety; You don’t need to explain yourself on that personal level yet. Lastly, if you are suffering from serious anxiety about your date, just remember that you are wonderful, and this person’s opinion of you does not and will not define who you are. Relax, enjoy yourself and getting to know someone who might be just as nervous as you are (you never know!), and breathe. You got this.

Go To An Afternoon Movie

We’re taking the classic dinner & a movie date and giving it a twist. Go to a movie sometime after lunch but before dinner. A lot of people don’t think movies are a good first date idea, since you don’t get to speak to one another during the film. But I’m here to tell you that’s okay! Going to a movie first allows you time to get comfortable being around the other person, proving to yourself that you’re not going to completely die, therefore enabling your anxiety to lessen. By the end of the movie, you’ll be ready to go get a bite to eat and actually be able to talk to the other person without your blood pressure spiking and passing out.

Shop For A Present

Ask your date if they would be up for helping you find a present for your family member or your best friend. They’re most likely not going to know anything about who you’re buying a present for, but that’s irrelevant. It gives you a purpose of looking around, instead of just wandering and letting your anxiety build up at the thought of having to make conversation. Finding a present for someone is great conversation starters, as it allows you to get to know the other person. “I need to buy a present for my mom. What kind of things does your mom like? Oh, cool. Does she live here? Awesome.” This obviously don’t have to conclude the date, but it will help your anxiety to lessen before the date continues.

Meet Up For Coffee (or tea!) & Give A Time Limit

This is easy and casual, & you can leave anytime since you’ve already paid for your beverage! Maybe opt for tea to help your anxiety while you sit down and get to know each other. Letting the other person know you only have a specific amount of time to chat can be a huge relief of your anxiety. First, having a time limit gives you the knowledge going in that you only have to be there for that specific amount of time. It isn’t open-ended, and you can take some of the pressure off. Second, if the date is going well, you always have the option to say something along the lines of, “Oh it’s okay! I can cancel that and keep talking longer”. And then proceed to text your friend to cancel that non-existent appointment you had.

Improv Night / Stand Up Comedy

Most colleges have an improv group and have weekly performances. Tell your date you’ve always wanted to go watch an Improv group (or stand-up comedy), and would love to go together. The laid back atmosphere and (hopefully) evening filled with laughter will feel more personal than going to see a movie, but still gives you an opportunity to get more comfortable being around your date than a normal one-on-one dinner.

Stop By A Flea Market, Outlet Mall, Or Expo Center

If crowds aren’t your thing, I probably wouldn’t opt for this one. But meeting up to aimlessly walk around a crowded area can sometimes be fun and less anxiety provoking, as the pressure is taken away from you, since you’re both focused on the events going on around you.

Are there any first date ideas you’ve tried that have helped your anxiety? Please let me know in the comments below!

Until next time,

Anna A.

Anna Atchison

Petite Wander was founded by Anna Atchison in March 2018. All comments and opinions are her own.

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